A friend sent a list of antidotes. I have not checked their validity, but as we all celebrate Veterans’ Day tomorrow,  these might be worth sharing with family and friends.

SECRETARY OF STATE DEAN RUSK

• JFK’s Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60’s when French President Charles de DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US Military out of France as soon as possible.
• Rusk responded, “Does that include those who are buried here?”
• DeGaulle Did not respond.
• You.could have heard a pin drop.

GENERAL COLIN POWELL

• When in England, at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of ’empire building’ by George Bush.
• General Powell answered by saying, “Over the years, the United States has sent many of Its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for iIn return is enough to bury those that did not return.”
• The Archbishop did not respond.
• You could have heard a pin drop.

A BOEING ENGINEER FROM THE UNITED STATES

• There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.
• During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying, “Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he Intend to do, bomb them?”
• The Boeing engineer, a Navy veteran, stood up and replied quietly: “Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day; and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships. How many does France have?”
• The French engineer did not respond.
• You could have heard a pin drop.

A U.S. NAVY ADMIRAL

• A Navy Admiral from America was attending a naval conference that included admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French navies At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries.
• Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks when a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, “Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?”
• Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, “Maybe it’s because the Brit’s, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German or Japanese.”
• The French Admiral did not respond.
• You could have heard a pin drop.

A U.S. ARMY VETERAN

• Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.
• “You have been to France before, monsieur?” the customs officer asked sarcastically.
• Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
• “Then, you should know enough to have your passport ready.”
• Mr. Whiting said, “The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.”
• “Impossible. Americans always have to show their passports on arrival in France!”
• The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ”Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find a single Frenchman to show a passport to.”
• The French customs agent did not respond.
• You could have heard a pin drop.

NOTE: Some of these are credited to Marshall Sorgen on GoodReads.

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