The process of F-O-R-G-I-V-I-N-G

A test to tell if you’ve really forgiven someone
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The process of F-O-R-G-I-V-I-N-G

We tell people all the time that we have forgiven them, but the truth is, in most cases, we haven’t really done so. If we say we have forgiven people but we harbor any resentment, bitterness, or anger of how badly they treated us, then we have not really forgiven them. How can we unload ourselves of this burden?

I answer this question in my book, 10 Essentials of Happy, Healthy People: Becoming and staying highly healthy
You may wonder whether you’ve truly forgive someone or not. This blog, “A test to tell if you’ve really forgiven someone,” may help you answer that question.
For my patients and those I counsel on the skill of forgiveness, I offer the following process—based on the acrostic F-O-R-G-I-V-I-N-G—to help them with the difficult and emotionally painful task of healing from past hurts.

  • F = Forgiving Is Highly Healthy
  • O = Organize Your Thoughts by Writing
  • R = Review Your Experience
  • G = Give the Boot to Anger and Regret
  • I = Invest in Removing Resentment
  • V = Victory Comes in Forgiving Others
  • I = Increase Your Gratitude for Past Pain
  • N = Navigate to Inner Peace
  • G = Give Comfort to Others

Using a process like this is not easy. It takes time and plenty of effort. But, the result can be life saving. So to being the process of forgiving, obtain a copy of my book, 10 Essentials of Happy, Healthy People and learn about, study, and then apply “The Essential of Forgiveness.”


  1. Stephen McConnell says:

    Very beautiful post. One of our essential prayers states “forgive me and I forgive others…” It is often very hard to forgive ourselves for things we have done in the past, also. When we learn to forgive ourselves, then we also learn to forgive others.
    I think that true forgiveness can come from seeing the Light of God in others and that we share that Light within us, too.

  2. Stephen McConnell says:

    sorry that should be “forgive me as I forgive others”… haven’t had second cup of coffee, yet. 😉

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